Thoughts

A few months ago I read Elizabeth Gilbert's wonderful memoir Eat Pray Love, and yesterday I made a point of catching Oprah because she was being interviewed. Of course, being me, rereading the book (as I've been doing over the past few days) and hearing the interview made me long even more than I already had been for some travel. I knew when I got married and had a baby that my travel would be reduced for a while, that I wouldn't be as free to go when and however I could as I had been. However, every time Alex smiles at me or Ron kisses me I remember that it was worth it.

Anyway, one of the things Ms Gilbert told Oprah is that there are three things she does every day that anyone can do. The first was this-every morning, get out your journal and ask yourself the following question: "What do I really really really want?", then answer the question. I pondered that question for the rest of the day. For the most part in my life, I have the things that I really really really want-my husband and son. The only big things that are still "out there" for me are getting in shape, and getting my career going. So, I had to ask myself the question-do I really really really want those things, which was something I hadn't honestly asked myself before.

I was reminded of the first chapter in Phil Cousineau's book Once and Future Myths, where he talks about the myth of Sisyphus as a metaphor for the creative struggle. The idea is that the work of writing the book (or creating whatever it is you're trying to create) is rolling the boulder up the hill. You get a moment's rest as the boulder rolls back down, as you walk back down the hill. This is the part when your book comes out, you go on tour, get feted, etc. Then the struggle starts back up again. Camus tells us in his essay on Sisyphus that he learns to love the struggle, and we must too.

I've been working so much this week on my Anya and the Bear story that I've reminded myself of the joy of the work itself, although it is work, a lot of work. I've realized that it's too easy for me to procrastinate my life away, and that I must write every day or lose my momentum. Hopefully writing daily in this blog will help with that. I'm still working on the getting in shape question. wish me luck.