Babies babies babies

Before Ron and I had Alex, I was sure that I only wanted one child. I was grateful for the opportunity to have a child at all, really, given that I didn't get married until I was 35. However, once he was born, I was so overwhelmed with the experience of being a mother that I began to be really unsure about that assertion. For the first year of Alex's life I seesawed back and forth between the desire for a second child, and the desire to leave my family the way that it is, to be satisfied with the incredible child that we already have. I started to feel stressed about not being 100% sure one way or another.
I finally decided that I didn't want to decide. Preventing a pregnancy via birth control seemed to be a way of deciding against the 2nd child. So, what I'd like to do is this-go off the pill for one year, leave the door open for another soul, and see if someone comes through. This way, if I don't get pregnant again, I can rejoice in the way our family is, and really enjoy the things that come with only having one (more money, time, etc.) If I do get pregnant, then it was meant to be. I do know that I don't want to be having babies after I turn 40, and if I get pregnant one year from now I'll have the baby shortly before my 40th birthday. So, one year. It seems symmetrical, or something. We'll see what happens. I feel really at peace about this approach. Ron agrees, and is on board with this, by the way ;).